Mothering Energy
What's on my mind this week . . .
“Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother.” – Oprah Winfrey.
It’s Mother’s Day weekend here in the U.S. and lots of good thoughts are in the air. I am not a biological mother. I am a PANK - Professional Aunt No Kids. It seems there are a lot of us PANKS out there in the world (1 in 5 women in North America) who, while not mothers ourselves, mother others.
“When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ It is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.” ~~ Erma Bombeck
I love the humor of the late writer, Erma Bombeck. Her quote represents my own mother so well. Advice-giving in our house was a one-way street and it didn’t matter if you were of an age to be out working, married or the husband in the family. My mother didn’t live to see her grandchildren but I picture her wherever she is now still giving advice down through the generations. And, though I am speaking humorously, I know it was and is an expression of love.
From my parents I got my first experience of unconditional love, or not. I received my first understanding of what it meant to be cared for, encouraged, supported and disciplined. I learned about boundaries and a concept of self that was loving and empowered if the family dynamics were healthy. I also learned shame, self-criticism and self-doubt through my family’s dysfunction. However flawed, my parents did the best they could, having emerged from their own somewhat dysfunctional family system with the very best intentions. But the very best intentions can’t solve wounds from childhood. I had to learn how to mother myself and that matters to this day. Not being able to do so means not being able to create a life of contentment, clear on who I am and the choices I make.
Every person has the ability to mother in some way. Mothering energy at its best is the highest energy of love, nurturance, emotional balance and compassion. In childhood it is the beauty of unconditional love given without reserve. In adulthood it is the open heart of understanding and acceptance. I think of those reading this who might have lost a mother at a young age. It’s a loss at any age, but for a child it is much more profound. Sending love today to those who have suffered such a loss.
When I look at what mothering energy is, I know that I have, and do, mother my family, my friends, my characters I’m writing about, my pets and plants. Any living being in my sphere is open to receiving my mothering energy. It is a great blessing to mother and be mothered. And, if that loving nurturance was not present in childhood, an experience for many, each person can still be the mother to their own precious heart no matter the age. I think of self-care as a high form of mothering energy. Thinking about what this weekend means to so many, I am reminded to make sure I make time to include myself in my mothering actions by getting enough rest, eating well and finding ways to fill my day with mini-moments of creativity and joy.
Mothering energy comes through imperfect people - female, male, nice, cranky, unhealed, calm, anxious, judgmental, caring, rigid, flexible, manipulative, honest, tired, hard-working and everything else in the spectrum of the human condition. There is no need to canonize those who mother nor to demonize them. It might be a Divine path in life for some; for others, not. It is an energy of the archetype of the Divine Feminine available to us all.
To all who mother . . . Happy Mother’s Day.
With Love,
Cathleen
After reviewing this reader’s feed and the comment left here I was given the option by Substack Admin to ban this reader from making further comments on my Substack and have taken that option.