“Nights through dreams tell the myths forgotten by the day.” C.G. Jung from Memories, Dreams, Reflections
My dreams have been unearthing new information about my childhood experiences, associated beliefs and resultant patterns that I struggle with today. One dream had me facing a neon sign with the word Neglect on it in bright, cheery colors. Another had me in conversation with a group where the topic was how to be second best. In both dreams, there were strange tall Jenga-like buildings. Thinking of my beliefs like a stack of Jenga blocks, I can see how my self-identity formed. But, just like the game, there are hidden blocks invisible to see until gaps reveal ones that are linchpins of the whole structure.
Because I have long-studied dream psychology, I like to write my dreams down and see what I can make of them. I often ask for further clarification as I go to sleep the night after a particularly perplexing dream. What I understand is that my psyche is rooting through my subconscious bringing hidden beliefs to the surface. I know that because each new word or phrase that emerges triggers a visceral reaction. I feel the word or words to my very core.
For example, the words second best brought in recollections of childhood experiences that connected those words to distressing emotions and a deep sadness in my child self. Following a trail of energy produced by those words, I found my way to remembered experiences as an adult where the same distressing emotions were present. And, in each of my remembered experiences, was a situation in which I believed I was being compared with another and found lacking. It’s amazing, isn’t it, that the soul self can still surprise even after decades of energy work and healing?
I thought about the very young me compared to a slightly older sister by a mother who felt I was hard to handle. I thought about the child me attached to a father who was attached to an addiction. Then I thought about how, as an adult, I often encountered another woman vying for the same job - not several others, always just one other. And I thought about how this hidden belief might have been the catalyst that drove me to great heights of success in my career.
This new understanding set me off on a journey of discovery and reflection unlike any I’ve done in many years. I am so grateful to have this knowledge that clarifies for me much of my inner motivation in life. With the knowledge I received and the memories that gave the words context, I can not only reframe those experiences but can release the effects of that specific self-limiting belief and make more room for joy. And, I can see where I am treating myself as second best. That is what hidden beliefs produce. If not in my awareness, I will act in a way congruent with the hidden belief. When no longer hidden, real change is possible.
Life, as long as we have to live, is a journey of healing. The word neglect has only just emerged. What I will tell you is that this word has a deep well of grief associated with it. Yet, I am grateful it has come up into the light of my awareness. Now, I can, and will, take the journey the word invites me to take. While painful, it will ultimately be freeing and healing.
If what I am writing about today resonates with you, then I encourage you to see what hidden beliefs might be ready to surface. Maya Angelou once said that “the real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself.” I would add that first you must know what those thoughts are. Often the thoughts we have about ourselves are built on hidden beliefs. That layer, once known, brings the shaky false sense of self tumbling down. In a very real way, this is the process of rebirth that comes with the start of each new day as the soul reawakens to yet another new beginning.
With love,
Cathleen
Cathleen, I love how your psyche is gently guiding you to loosen and re-imagine your core beliefs. A bit of an update, I intuit. So that the Self can grow into a much freer shape. Oh, I bless the day I met Jung! Thanks so much for sharing. 🙏💖